TheBiden.WIN

 I am extreeeemeley busy tomorrow. Take a look at my official shedjewel for the day. Notice anything interesting on there?? It's plain as the nose on Kamala's avatar looking face! I will be having a LOT of pool time tomorrow, and let me tell YOU, Jack! It's been a loooooong time coming. I haven't had the opportunity for a good old fashioned against grain leg hair rub since before the United States systemic white supremecist patriarchy virus took ahold of our grey nashun! I'm too old and too tired to pass up an opportunity like this, so I'll be having multiple dips in the pools of our brothers. And our sisters. United. the black ones in particular. I just learned what a roach is in fact.   OK all you gazelle nosed smurf bangers! Until tomorrow, -KJB

Listen fat! A lot of you are out here hootin and a hollerin and runnin your durned mouths about my secretary of health and her opinions on hormone therapy for children. Well first off, let's address the elephant in the room. Her penis. to quote my predecessor, it's "YOOJ!" And that makes her ALL the more qualified to be my secretary, because it guarantees that I won't have another Tara Reade situation on my hands if ya know what I mean. I prefer my women to have orifices for the groping ;);) Yeah you know what I'm talking about Jack! Oh... oh wait, I'm getting a voice in my head-errr my earpiece. Off topic. Steer to climate change. The REAL travestory is the RAPE of our secretar.... er climate. Mother Nature can't go on much longer and YOU all need to start paying attention to YOUR actions in regards to climate action, rather than madame Levine's actions in regards to you children's junk! She is a stunning brave gorgeous merman and I will NOT h

Yesterday on accident the house and the senate, uhhh senate repuffle-pelicans PELICANS and intelligence comit com intellerence comedy partnership agreement with the aggregate agreement for pathwz towards indianship. Docuementing instituates of the indigenous zone.  We’re opening more summer camps for er the th the them kids over yonder. Not cages! Boxes. Shoebox camp. Tents and showers. Lots of showers. Build the wall! Ok champ you go get them. Jill! My sister jill needs to come get me now.  Ok you hair handed kitten waters! Until tomorrow, -KJB

Today I am very pleased to announce the reversal of a very problematic federal enforcement action, put in place by the Trump adminiration. Aperition Jim- Jiminy- Jimmy F-Falon Talon. Operation Talon Operation Falon was an action targering convicted sex offenders in the country illegally. This was unacceptable.  1: NO ONE is illegal. It is a physical IMPOSSIBILITY to be in this country illegally.  2nd: Being a "sex offender" is an identity that for too long has been shunned by the mainstream. We are progressives, man! We need to open our minds, hearts, and orifices to these unfortunates who for too long have been mocked, ridiculed and in many cases even been incarcerated, for the simple fact that they're living their authentic lives. C: Under my admonishration our core goal for this country is unity. Always - unity. let me lower my tone now to that of a gentile old grandfatherly type figure who is speaking wisdom to the children sat in a semi circle before him. unity. we m

Is that a court in your pocket, or are ya just happy to see me? hehe That's right latriots! The Supremmis t-t tennis- t-preme court has been in my back pocket alllllll this time! hehehe. I kill myself (and Seth rich).  Wellll... China's back pocket, anyway. But what's the difference at this point? and before you answer that, DON'T BE A BIGOT! The courts have officially torn up the constitution in order to help bring down the orange tyrant! ( who peacefully stood down with no resistance whatsoever, but we won't talk about that here.)  He offended our tender fee fees for the LAST time! Now we'll go over his taxes with a fined toothed honeycomb and look for ANYTHING we can to LOCK UP 45!!!!! Did you think we could just let this go after preachments failed again? Come on man? Don't be so naive, mannnnnnnn! Wait... what's this? Hit the road Jack, are you kidding me!? sooooo.... you're saying that every president's taxes will become fair game after thi

It’s an obsolete trajectory what’s happening in Texas right now. My heart replacement goes out to those who have lost loved ones and I pray to the catholic god that I really do follow RELIGIOUSly, that their families have pieces in these tr-t-tying chimes. Now... I don’t want to place blame on anyone here, but this travissy could have been avoided. If Texans hadn’t have turned their noses up at the Green New Deal, I would’ve been able to throw alllll sorts of money at their power problem, but because they wanted to stick to that HORRIBLE HORRIBLE oil based life, I couldn’t release restrictions on their power output, as that would’ve resulted in the entire planet earth sliding into the ocean and turning itself inside out! How am I as your presidenté supposed to allow that to happen, huh!? And now we have this to show for it.  Every last one of those dead Texan/Americans is another mega ton of carbonated released into the ariesspears, and there lies the true tragissy of it all. Well all